Holding our breath for Paris

It is so hard to find the time, and the means, to express the intensity of fears, wants, needs, hopes, and emotions that swirl around inside our heads every day.

Working full time in a cultural center at  university, where lots of people stop by all the time and meetings are scheduled back to back with events every other day, and being a mom and scholar keeps me running around most days from 9am to 9pm. But in the morning when I have my coffee and drive to work, and in the evenings when I am settling in for the night, there is only one thought on my mind, every morning and every night. I so wish something could be done about it, I wish some change would happen, I keep waiting every day to see something new in the world, something that shows this entire silly system is finally about to give way to something revolutionary. Perhaps I am overly optimistic, perhaps it will always just be slow, painfully slow, imperceptibly slow, until some day 20 years from now I will be able to recognize a difference in the way the economy works, that it will no longer thrive on the relentless exploitation of our natural resources. It is just so depressing.

My personal plan has always been to move to Iceland, I somehow think it will be a better place to ride out the impending apocalypse than anywhere else.

But instead I wake up every morning here in Washington, and come to work, going through the motions of keeping the existing system rolling along. For what reason I am not quite sure. It is frustrating.

Capitalism has run its course. It is time for something new. I work in a non-profit educational institution, so I guess at least I am not contributing to the ongoing maintenance of pure profit-driven capitalism, and perhaps I am doing a little something to the push along the necessary redirecting that must be coming, just by going to work.

I am however anxious, with a growing feeling of hopelessness. This chess match has gone on so long, isn't it time for Bobby Fisher to rewrite the rules of the game? I hope the people in Paris feel that way, because I know I do. Fervently and entirely. Come on politicians in Paris! Remake the world. This cannot go on, it is not sustainable. It is not interesting anymore.

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